Dec 20
2007
My Brother’s Generosity
Since I believe my brother Dale has a poo fetish, I should have seen it coming.
I posted a while back about the crazy Christmas gifts my little brother, Dale, and I exchange. Each year we take an extraordinary amount of time scheming thinking of the most iinsulting considerate and gross thoughtful gifts we can present to each other.
Well, with the oncoming rush of relatives, ourl little family of three had our own private Christmas dinner a gift exchange this past weekend. Of course, I opened my bro’s gift with considerable dread anticipation.
As I said, I should have seen it coming. I mean, in the past Dale has sent me such things as links to some blog where a fellow was posting a daily photo of, yes, his, well, poo and photos of luxury toilets. And just this past Thanksgiving he happily gave me the “Monthly Poo” calendar–a beautifully produced calendar of dog poo in various stages of decomposition and posed in beautiful, scenic locations.
Well, as you can probably guess by now, this year’s gift had a poo theme. Here were the gifts, all beautifully packaged.
First, there was the reindeer pooper.
This was actually sorta cute. The little reindeer dispenses tan and brown jellybeans. I will be sure to use it next time the garden club ladies come calling.
There was also a can of Poop Freeze. This actually seems to have a practical purpose. Apparently you just “frost and toss.” The spray freezes the offending poop to -62 degrees F. The can label is very encouraging: “Poop Happens–Just Freeze It!” and “Because It’s Your Dootie!”
I particularly liked the Nope, It’s Soap poo soap. It would be too too predicable to use it when Dale and his lovely wife come to visit. I’ll have to store this for just the right occasion–like when the garden club ladies come calling.
There was also the highly educational book, What’s Your Poo Telling You? I won’t go into all the details because I don’t want to ruin it for you when you go out to get your very own copy. But I will tell you the names of some of the chapter titles: “Floaters vs. Sinkers,” “Number Three,” “Soft Serve,” “Pebble Poo” and, my favorite, “The-Honeymoon’s-Over Poo.”
Finally, he found this lovely letter writing paper made from recycled elephant poo. Well, you just know what I’m using to write the thank you note for THIS gift, right? The garden club ladies!!!
I like to think that my gift to Dale was a bit more intellectual. Sadly, I can’t share WHAT that is right now because I don’t want to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. But I am hoping that my sister-in-law will be sure and take a nice picture of Dale with the gift.
I’ll be sure to share.
Happy holidays!
–Robin (Bumblebee)
P.S.
I have a brand new Bumblebee Blog design that I’ll be launching sometime in January (fingers crossed). In the meanime, this is a temporary new design that I couldn’t resist. It’s a new template from SquareSpace. Do you like it?
December 20th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
That soap is disgusting!
December 21st, 2007 at 12:04 am
I just can’t imagine the business establishments that your brother frequents, that he manages to find such . . . unique . . . gifts.
December 21st, 2007 at 12:53 am
That is so awesome that you guys have such a good sense of humor! I love the gifts - they are very thoughtful, and isn’t that what counts this time of year? :0)
Looking forward to the new and updated blog!
Katie at GardenPunks
December 21st, 2007 at 7:00 am
You had me crackin up! Very unique gifts :-)!
December 22nd, 2007 at 12:09 am
Reminds me of watching the Musical episode of <b>Scrubs</b> where they were singing a song called "It all comes down to poo." It was hysterical! Interesting gifts.
December 22nd, 2007 at 6:49 am
OMG! Those are hilarious, creepy but hilarious.
Not really poo type gift but a while back I was reading about this super expensive coffee. It is so expensive because it passive through the digestive tract of birds. It turned out that some really poor people in some country used to collect the bird dropping and roast the beans ’cause they couldn’t afford to buy coffee beans. Now this poop coffee is a delicacy.
December 24th, 2007 at 2:01 am
How old is your brother? I like the reindeer gizmo but the soap…I’d rather not use that! LOL
December 25th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
LOL! Oh,I can’t wait to see what you got your brother, and what he thinks of it, too.
By the way, I probably don’t want to admit this, but I will anyway: My boyfriend and I saw that Poo book one day at Barnes & Noble and we laughed our butts off flipping through the pages. Rather a Beavis & Butthead kind of moment, but hey, you have to have those every once in a while, right?!
December 28th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Aren’t brothers great? Somehow, I think your parents would approve.
December 29th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
These are FANTASTIC gifts! How lucky you are. I am absolutely serious, too.
March 2nd, 2008 at 8:44 am
[...] this isn’t yet another story about my poo-obsessed brother. I have a rotten, nasty [...]
March 2nd, 2008 at 8:49 am
[...] with Winifred on her morning distress call of nature. At the risk of your concluding that I have a poo fetish like my brother, I was examining her poo and discovered the problem. It was absolutely FILLED with little pebbles! [...]
April 11th, 2008 at 8:46 am
any thing, but to observe every thing, and who, upon that account, are often her first time lesbian with the tobacco of Virginia, which had been purchased with British hsnrihvjdrj