Jan 07
2008
I Feel Like Poop
No, this isn’t yet another story about my poo-obsessed brother. I have a rotten, nasty cold.
Despite the recent claims of Cold Ease, Zicam and other cold-ameliorating medicines, my cold is not less severe or lengthy. I…Feel…Like…Crap.
I dutifully got my flu shot. But what I really needed was a cold shot. No such thing. Stupid scientists.
So this is just a friendly reminder to protect yourself, along with the tips you’ve heard before:
- Avoid people (like me) who are sick. It’s not just because you’ll get sick too. We are really cranky.
- If you are sick, stay the heck home. No one wants to see you. You’re probably cranky.
- Do not share: dishes, towels, silverware, telephones, pencils, cars, subway cars, busses, airplanes…Well, do what you can with this one.
- If you work in an office, use alcohol. No, don’t drink it. (At least before 5 p.m.) Use some cotton puffs and clean your phone, keyboard and other shared work surfaces regularly, particularly if someone else comes near it. I used to do this twice a day in the bacteria- and virus-infested ad agency where I used to work before retreating to my sterile home office. Some of this had to do with some of the creative department staff. (Another story.)
- Manage stress, which lowers your immunity and may make you more susceptible to illness. Maybe you should drink that alcohol earlier than 5 p.m. after all.
- Boost your natural immunity with regular exercise and a healthy diet. I did it and it didn’t work for me, but hey, it might work for you.
- Forget what the germ doom-and-gloom-scientists say about super-bugs developing immunity and use that miracle hand sanitizer about 50 times a day. After all, we’re talking about a COLD here.
- Go ahead and take those immunity-boosting vitamin concoctions that you pour in water and that taste like, well, crap. It can’t hurt.
So, I’ve done my public service hours for the month. Live long (and cold-free) and prosper.
January 19th, 2008 at 4:30 am
You might be cranky and not feel well, but you’ve still got a wicked sense of humor!
I hope you’re feeling better by now! Loved this post!