I have no idea why I want to raise chickens so badly.
Ever since I saw chickens the first time at the county fair, I have longed for chickens. They’re beautiful!
Yes, I could conceivably be rewarded with fresh, organic eggs from my very own free-range chickens. And yes, I think they will be fascinating—even amusing—to watch. But the desire goes beyond my culinary and entertainment needs. It’s something deeper, more visceral, than that.
Hey, I think I’m a farm girl! I’m gonna git me some overalls and a straw hat!
People keep looking at me as if I’ve grown antlers when I tell them I’m planning a chicken coop. They are absolutely incredulous when I tell them we’re hiring an architect to design said coop. I can hardly wait to see the architect’s reaction when we tell him we want him to design A CHICKEN COOP!
To be fair, it’s not JUST a chicken coop. It’s a combination garden shed and chicken coop. I want clerestory windows. And a cupola. And window boxes. I want it to merge seamlessly with my Colonial theme garden. And I want it to be beautiful!
I want what Martha has—a Palais de Poulet!
My husband is, amazingly, on board with this little fantasy. He has even found the builder and put his detail-oriented mind to work combing through all the chicken books I’ve collected to put together an initial design for the architect’s input. I have contributed bunches of sketches and photographs of my dream garden shed/chicken coop.
Harry’s Chicken Palace Plan
The idea is that one side will be the chicken palace while the other side will be my garden shed. They will be connected with a door so that I can store the chicken supplies on the garden side and access them easily.
I can finally move my riding mower into more appropriate quarters, hang my tools on cleverly designed pegs, have a garden potting bench and even some bins for bulk supplies. I am all a-tingle just thinking about it.
Now I’m thinking about chicken names. Of course, I have to wait and see what kind of personalities they have. It would be cruel to mis-name a chicken, right?
How about politician names? Dick Cheney and George Bush? Nah. Not enough women’s names—yet.
So how about Hollywood names? Lucy and Ethel? Marilyn Monroe? Betty Davis? Paris Hilton? Would you name a chicken Paris Hilton?
Help me out here!
Robin
Yesterday was hay day around here.
That’s when Farmer Rudy, the fellow who tends to our hay field, shows up to mow down the hay. The sight of a newly mown hay field is wonderful. And the SMELL is absolutely glorious.
Farmer Rudy is a local good ole boy, who owns a nearby farm and raises cows. He is probably in his sixties and yesterday, while managing a GREAT BIG wad a chewing tobacco, told us about the orchard grass blight and how his plan to let the field go to seed was working.
It’s all fine with us. For the most part, we worry about the hay because of 1) aesthetics and 2) the agricultural tax credit. Because of the tax credit we only pay a pittance on a good portion of the property.
Here is Maryland there’s a point system for maintaining your ag tax credit. We have to get five points. I’m probably not getting it all absolutely right, but the point system goes something like this.
-A point for each acre that is farmed
-A point for each cow or horse.
-A point for three sheep
-A point for 20 chickens
-Etc.
You can mix and match your points. So you can farm three acres and have two horses. Or you can have forty chickens and three cows.
For a while I toyed with the idea of raising chickens to help out with the points. I read books about chickens and visited the Calvert County Fair, where I ALWAYS enjoy the chicken barn the best. But frankly, 20 chickens is WAY too many chickens for our little family of three. I’m not about to open a roadside stand to sell eggs. And although Harry and Ben would probably enjoy the chickens at first, I can guarantee that they wouldn’t like them once they had to pitch in with the feeding and cleaning while I traveled for work.
So we figure that farming five acres of hay is easiest, at least as long as Farmer Rudy’s around.
We do worry about Farmer Rudy’s health, as he’s in his sixties, has diabetes, melanoma and COPD (lung disease). As he explained yesterday, farming is “fun,” but the hazards of the sun and the chemical and diesel fume exposure will eventually kill a farmer.
Today, Farmer Rudy is supposed to be back to bale the hay. Actually, he rolls rolls the hay into these uber-bales that sit at the edge of our woods until his cows need them.
I’m thinking of painting cheery and silly faces on them to greet us when we go up and down the driveway. I wonder what Farmer Rudy would think about that?
Robin
If you are stuck in the burbs but long for the bucolic beauty of the country and the peace of the farm life, I have good news. All this is just as close as your desktop computer!
There a number of webcams that you can visit to see slices of life on a real farm. I will admit that cow cams tend to be a bit dull, as the cows tend to stay in one place and sleep a lot. Not much action with cows. Horse cams show a lot of empty stalls as horses are the opposite of cows and tend to move around quite a bit. There seem to be no pig cams. (I wonder why?)
But chicken cams! Now you’re talking action! Chickens have a LOT of activity. Try out some of these chicken cams:
Fllying Skunk Farm – I rather like the weather station dials at the opening. The barnyard looks a bit dreary, but there’s always something going on. Today, there is a big FAT goat in with the chickens. One of the chickens has a HUGE feathery head that looks like he’s wearing a wig.
Thelma & Louise Cam – These are birds with personality! Admittedly, the video stream doesn’t always work properly, but the still photos are still worth it. I love the “Flu Stay Away” sign. Themla and Louise are very well informed birds.
HenCam — As I was researching these chicken cam websites, I had the good fortune of seeing a very serious and funky looking fellow in a polo shirt, pinstriped suit and filthy sneakers adjusting the webcam. I know his sneakers were filthy because he pointed the webcam at his feet at one point. He also spent a good deal of time staring directly into the camera lens over his head from VERY CLOSE. His mouth was twisted to the side at the effort. I felt like such a Peeping Tom! Anyway…about the chickens…It’s a very nice chicken cam.
We (I) have often considered getting chickens. I would love to have some colorful little birds making little chicken noises in the morning. I have read all kinds of books and always make a point of visiting the chicken barn at the county fair. Chickens are beautiful!
My mom loves the idea of my getting chickens. She loves to say, “Great! Now we can finally see how long a chicken lives!” (For those of you who don’t know, I am a vegetarian.)
By the way, I want to go on the record and say that I DO NOT approve of the genetic scientists’ efforts with their featherless chicken. Some call this “Frankenfood.” I call it just an abomination. The scientists point to the convenience. But, sadly, featherless chickens are not healthy chickens. They are prone to a whole host of problems and diseases. Isn’t the point to have HEALTHY FOOD?
I may have to get on the bandwagon to campaign against genetically modified foods if THIS is the type of horrors they have in mind.
Nuff said.
Robin
