Archive for the ‘Guest Blogger - Sophie’ Category
This has been a very tough couple of weeks for me and Sarah.
Walter, my mom’s repair man, has been running in and out of the house for days and days. He keeps making stinky painting smells and banging on things. Sarah and I have been trying to keep up with all our barking and monitoring of the situation, but frankly, it’s EXHAUSTING. We have practically run our short little legs to nubins keeping up with it all.
Now, with everyone gone, Mom and I (oh, and Sarah) are enjoying the quiet. Mom is also recuperating from a bit of a strange situation today.
See, coming back from the gym after lunch, she was driving past the Catholic church in our little town. Out front a woman was jumping up and down and waving her arms, looking frantic. My mom pulled over to see what the emergency was. Surely there must be a fire, a heart attack or some such emergency that required assistance, right?
As mom stopped and began to fumble for the window button in my dad’s unfamiliar car, THE WOMAN JUMPED INTO THE CAR!
“Thanks for the ride! I really appreciate it!”
What?!? Mom doesn’t pick up hitchhikers! In fact, this woman wasn’t a hitchhiker. She was someone signaling an emergency. Or so Mom thought anyway.
Well, the woman strapped herself in and proceeded to tell Mom that she needed to go to the apartment complex about a mile up the road, all the while thanking her profusely for kindly stopping to pick her up.
Mom said that the woman was too drunk to do any real harm aside from gassing up the car. And since she was hardly wearing any clothes she couldn’t be concealing a weapon. So Mom went ahead and took her there, figuring it would just be faster than trying to convince the woman that she was only stopping for a fire or heart attack, not to give anyone a ride.
It has taken all afternoon for the boozy smell to wear out of Dad’s car. I noticed that Mom also spent some time figuring out how to work the locks and windows on Dad’s car too so it doesn’t happen again.
By the way, I just took a look at Mom’s To-Do list for the weekend. Some of the items:
- Make goat cheese
- Make parmesan cheese
- Mow the lawn
- Clear tomatoes and store Texas tomato cages
- Spread manure
- Turn compost pile
- Rake leaves
- Cut back wisteria vine
- Plant 1,000 bulbs
- Transplant bushes
- Repot some houseplants
- Finish re-organizing kitchen cabinets
- Make coming home dinner for Dad and Ben
I have a pool going on how many of these items she gets done. Email me if you want in.
Arf Arf!
–Sophie (Bumblebee’s Dog)
Robin
[Because I am in no position to preach to anyone about the environment, this is an open letter to myself on Blog Action Day.]Dear Robin,
You joined Slow Food USA. You have written about your yearning for simplicity. You have taken some baby steps toward environmentally sound practices and more healthful living. But I believe it’s time to stop joining, talking and taking baby steps.
It occurs to me that true change can only occur if you just…slow…down. Stop working seven days a week. Stop rushing around and living without, well, living. Stop being so impatient to get everything done right now. Live mindfully about what you are doing every moment and about the consequences of your choices and actions.
Slowing down will be good for you and for your family. What’s more, it will be good for the environment.
I will give you some examples of some of your personal actions that contribute to the environmental crisis we’re facing:
-You sometimes drive when you can walk. Do you really need to move your SUV from one end of the shopping center to the other as you do your errands? Can’t you walk there and back?
-You still use products such as weed killers and harsh cleaning products because they provide a fast, short-term solution, although they add little drips to the stream of pollution that is killing the earth.
-You drive past local farmers’ produce stands and buy the same produce at the grocery stores that is imported from the other side of the country–or the other side of the world.
-You still buy some ready-made foods rather than baking your own bread, making your own cheese or growing what you need with methods that don’t require chemicals, additives or being shipped from far away.
-You still throw clothes into the dryer rather than air drying them in the sun and fresh air.
-You waste energy by doing such things as leaving the computer on all night long so you won’t have to wait to read your email in the morning.
-You haven’t taken seriously the environmental cry to reduce, reuse and recycle.I could go on, but I don’t want to embarrass you here.
By slowing down, you will walk more gently on the earth. You can make some healthy changes that will mean better, healthier foods, less stress from hurrying around and more time with family and friends. You might also save some money and sleep better because you’ve gotten a bit more exercise (and, uh, saved some money).
Nuff said. Go out and do better now.
Robin
Good grief. No sooner does she get home than she leaves again. Really, what is a girl to do? It’s enough to make a girl scream.
Yep, Mom is jetting her way to San Francisco first thing in the morning. She is in high stress mode trying to pack her office after spending the day dashing around the house and yard getting things organized. I was exhausted just from watching her!
Tonight, Ben asked that Mom make dinner early because he was hungry.
Bad move. Boy, oh boy, was she mad.
She was in warp stress trying to finish a report at 6:30 p.m. on a Saturday night. Making dinner for him was not at the top of her list.
But really. She needs to get a life and her priorities straight. I personally believe that feeding me, Sarah and Ben (in that order) should come at the top of her fancy "to do" list. Who cares about all that stoopid computer stuff, right?
While Mom is gone, I have made myself my own "to do" list. Here it is:
–Eat big food
–Threaten Sarah if I even think she is going to take my big food
–Sleep
–Bark at something
–Bark at nothing
–Sleep, because I will be tired from barking
–Eat some more big food
–Hide some big food and dare Sarah to come and find it
–Sleep some more
–Bark at the big food
–Sleep on the big food
–Eat the big food
As you can see, I have a very full agenda when my mom is gone. She my be in San Francisco on business, but I have the really hard job here at home.
Arf!
–Sophie
Guess Blogger (Don’t tell Mom)
Comment posting is now at the top of the entry, under the headline. Comments are welcomed and appreciated. I read them all and respond to questions. You can post securely and have the option of posting your URL and email address or not. Email addresses are not shown and are not available to visitors.
Click here to bookmark using any of more than a dozen bookmarking tools:
Robin
Today was Skip Day at our house. That means that everyone skipped what they were supposed to do.
Dad said the Pope gave him and Ben an “air show pass” so they could skip church today. Now, I know I’m “just a dog,” but I’m pretty sure the Pope has never, ever, thought of such a thing as an air show pass. And I’m also pretty sure that if he heard Dad say the Pope gave him one he would be in some pretty big trouble for lying on top of things.
As for Mom, she skipped her Iyengar yoga class today to catch up on some garden work. At least SHE didn’t say something silly like B.K.S. Iyengar gave her a garden pass.
So anyway, as you have no doubt deduced, Dad and Ben went off to the airshow and, you guessed it, left Mom here to work in the garden. Sarah and I, of course, stayed here to help Mom out since no one invited US to the air show.
Mom started the day with doing a lot of what she calls “puttering.” From what I can tell, puttering involves moving this stuff over there and that stuff over here. She also made an ENORMOUS dirty mess in the kitchen when she potted a bunch of orchids and other house plants because she doesn’t yet have a proper potting shed. Then, of course, she had to scrub down and disinfect the kitchen, which made everything smell like medicine.
By the way, about those orchid things. You know how she gets all excited about new projects and such. Orchids are her new project. She’s been reading all kinds of books, like Orchids for Dummies and Orchids for Whimps and bought some orchids from Logee’s Greenhouses. They arrived on Friday and I thought she was going to do a little jig she was so happy unwrapping them.
It’s really kinda sad that her she gets all on fire about these little projects instead of having something important to do. Perfect example: SHE TOOK PHOTOS OF HER NEW GARDEN CART! She was all proud that she had stocked it with all her favorite tools. She even hung a laminated copy of Mac’s “Good Bugs. Bad Bugs” to the handle for handy reference. I mean, really.
As you can tell, organizing appears to be a favorite hobby of hers. Some people ski. Others bowl. Some people collect stamps. Mom organizes things.
The other day her friend Angela came to visit and remarked that she was surprised that given Mom’s love for organizing things that Mom hadn’t invested in one of those fancy garage organizing systems.
Oooooh. You should have seen Mom. I thought the top of her head would come off. I’m not sure what was going on inside her head, but I’m sure that she was saying some of those words she’s not supposed to be saying any more.
As for Dad and Ben, they arrived home tan and happy. Ben apparently knows a whole lot about airplane stuff and Dad said he was impressed. Mom rolled her eyes and made some snide remark about how she’d be more impressed if he knew how to conjugate some French verbs. As for me, I would be more impressed if he would feed me something other than the big food Mom gives me.
Before I go, I want to address an issue that has come up around here. Several people have called and written to ask why I am a guest blogger here on Bumblebee and Sarah is not. In fact, several loyal readers have suggested that they like my observations better than Mom’s.
That has not set well with Mom and I think she might be a wee bit jealous.
As for Sarah, I know that people say she’s sweet. Everyone talks about how pretty she is. As for me, I say she’s just this side of teachable.
Now Mom’s all mad at me for being mean to Sarah when her Bumblebee policy is to be positive whenever possible. But you get the point. Don’t be expecting Sarah to write anything because SHE CAN’T WRITE.
Until next time,
Sophie
Robin
Hey. Sophie here yet again. It’s Mother’s Day and Mom is taking the day off. She also says that since she was traveling all week and worked outside all day, she just doesn’t have the wherewithal to do her Bumblebee work. So, here I am.
Frankly, I’m starting to worry that Mom is getting too old for all this travel stuff. This morning, she woke up bright and early as always at 6:00 a.m. She had a couple cups of coffee while watching the birds, but no sooner had Dad ambled downstairs than she announced that she was going back to bed. I suppose she thought it was still nighttime because it was rainy, dark and windy outside.
It didn’t last long though.
“There’s too much to do!” she started complaining as soon as the sun came out.
To tell you the truth, I think she brings these things on herself. I mean, she could have asked Ben to mow the grass while she was gone, but noooooo. She says he doesn’t do it right. She says he mows the lawn with all the precision of a Navy barber. She would rather do it herself. And today being Mother’s Day and all, Dad announced that he had plans to “attempt a quiche” for dinner. Mom got this pained look on her face and immediately piped up that she thought she might like to make spanikopita (spinach pie), which Dad suddenly thought was a great idea. More work for Mom.
She was a little bit perturbed, however, that no one noticed the handy new garden cart she bought for herself needed assembly while she was gone. I hate to say this, but I’m not sure which is worse: Mom assembling things by following instructions or Dad assembling things by following instructions.
When Dad assembles things, he always shakes his head a lot and mumbles about things like “poor engineering design” and “design flaws.” Mom says he takes too much time reading directions and not enough time DOING things. And she says he uses all the wrong tools.
When Mom assembles things, she generally complains about the way the instructions are written and says bad words. Only now she’s trying not to say bad words so she says things like “dagnabbit,” “drat it all,” “what in the tarnashun!” and such. But she always pulls out ALL the power tools.
I generally think Mom is better at assembling things because she always had parts left over.
Tonight, Mom is trying to decide what to do with all the souvenirs she brought back from Graceland. She told Dad that she bought them as gifts, but I also see her eyeing her office to try and find room for them all. Honestly, I don’t know what gets into her sometimes.
In the meantime, I hope all you are ready for the coming onslaught of photos she has in store. She apparently took an amazing number of photos when she was “traveling on business.” Tough work that.
Until next time when Mom is tired,
Sophie
Robin
Hi. Sophie here again. I thought I would drop a line before my mom gets on here and starts telling stories about flowers and birds again. She can be very boring that way.
Dad and Ben are off on a fishing vacation, but when they return I need to remember to warn Dad about leaving Mom alone like that. She talks to herself and gets into quite a lot of trouble.
For example, the other night just after dark she decided to bring in the birdfeeders for the night. She does that because she hasn’t yet put in a proper birdfeeder pole with baffle and the local raccoons have worn a path in the yard going to and fro to the birdfeeder buffet.
Well, she must have been in a hurry because instead of looking outside first she just marched to the tree and started grabbing at the feeders. Next thing I knew she was yelling “EEEEEEEeeeee” and running around in little circles in the yard. I’m guessing it was the two raccoons in the tree that surprised her.
Then just yesterday morning she wasn’t paying careful attention again. She was getting dressed and decided to wear the bluejeans that were left in the car from her change of clothes for a meeting the night before. She went outside in her underwear (she calls it lingerie) to get them. I tried to warn her that wasn’t necessarily a good idea at that moment, but she strolled right out there dressed like that anyway.
Sure enough, no sooner had she gotten all the way to her car when the FedEx guy Billy came barreling down the driveway in one of those quiet little minivans. By the time Mom noticed the company it was too late for her to dart back into the house undetected. So instead, she threw herself into the back seat floor of the car and hid there until the Billy drove off. She’s still not sure if Billy noticed that she was there or not.
Now, I fully expected her to be a little cranky about this development to her day, but instead she came in holding the opened FedEx envelope.
“Hot dog! Hot dog!” she shouted, even though I wasn’t the least bit warm.
Apparently, she was happy about the envelope that she said was a check from an “overdue” client. She immediately started talking about buying bushes, bird and garden books, binoculars and something called a digiscope (which I think is a fancy machine to look at birds) even though I already heard her and Dad talking about sending money to some distant uncle named Sam who never comes for dinner. I don’t think Dad would approve.
So just to show how much fun she can be, today Mom says she plans to dig a bunch of holes. In my opinion, she is very inconsistent on the issue of digging holes. I know for a fact that Sarah just recently tried to surprise Mom by digging a lovely deep hole in the spinach bed. Mom was not at all happy for the help and retaliated by giving Sarah a bath. She can be mean that way.
She also plans to go out to find more plants to put into the holes she’s digging. As you can see I already have a plan in mind so that I’m not left behind this time babysitting Sarah.
Don’t tell Dad about Mom’s misadventures. I’ll break it to him gently myself.
–Sophie
Robin
Hi. Sophie here again. I thought I would drop a line before my mom gets on here and starts telling stories about flowers and birds again. She can be very boring that way.
Dad and Ben are off on a fishing vacation, but when they return I need to remember to warn Dad about leaving Mom alone like that. She talks to herself and gets into quite a lot of trouble.
For example, the other night just after dark she decided to bring in the birdfeeders for the night. She does that because she hasn’t yet put in a proper birdfeeder pole with baffle and the local raccoons have worn a path in the yard going to and fro to the birdfeeder buffet.
Well, she must have been in a hurry because instead of looking outside first she just marched to the tree and started grabbing at the feeders. Next thing I knew she was yelling “EEEEEEEeeeee” and running around in little circles in the yard. I’m guessing it was the two raccoons in the tree that surprised her.
Then just yesterday morning she wasn’t paying careful attention again. She was getting dressed and decided to wear the bluejeans that were left in the car from her change of clothes for a meeting the night before. She went outside in her underwear (she calls it lingerie) to get them. I tried to warn her that wasn’t necessarily a good idea at that moment, but she strolled right out there dressed like that anyway.
Sure enough, no sooner had she gotten all the way to her car when the FedEx guy Billy came barreling down the driveway in one of those quiet little minivans. By the time Mom noticed the company it was too late for her to dart back into the house undetected. So instead, she threw herself into the back seat floor of the car and hid there until the Billy drove off. She’s still not sure if Billy noticed that she was there or not.
Now, I fully expected her to be a little cranky about this development to her day, but instead she came in holding the opened FedEx envelope.
“Hot dog! Hot dog!” she shouted, even though I wasn’t the least bit warm.
Apparently, she was happy about the envelope that she said was a check from an “overdue” client. She immediately started talking about buying bushes, bird and garden books, binoculars and something called a digiscope (which I think is a fancy machine to look at birds) even though I already heard her and Dad talking about sending money to some distant uncle named Sam who never comes for dinner. I don’t think Dad would approve.
So just to show how much fun she can be, today Mom says she plans to dig a bunch of holes. In my opinion, she is very inconsistent on the issue of digging holes. I know for a fact that Sarah just recently tried to surprise Mom by digging a lovely deep hole in the spinach bed. Mom was not at all happy for the help and retaliated by giving Sarah a bath. She can be mean that way.
She also plans to go out to find more plants to put into the holes she’s digging. As you can see I already have a plan in mind so that I’m not left behind this time babysitting Sarah.
Don’t tell Dad about Mom’s misadventures. I’ll break it to him gently myself.
–Sophie
Robin
Hi, Sophie here. My mom can’t write her blog today because she is exhausted. She said today was extremely trying and she deserves a break.
She woke up at 6 a.m. with good intentions to get Ben off to his basketball game and tidy up before heading off to a big plant sale held by the local garden club. She got out the door in time to be early to the sale, although she had to answer a lot of questions from Dad about why she was taking the big pickup truck instead of her regular car. She said something about bringing home a jungle and Dad just shook his head. He does that a lot when he talks with Mom.
I took a nice long nap with Sarah and Dad. Sarah snores.
Mom came home in the early afternoon, but she didn’t have a jungle and now SHE was shaking her head. She told Dad that she went to get some breakfast before going to the plant sale. Apparently listening to the radio without the truck running is a bad idea because she said it wouldn’t start again when she was ready to go to the plant sale. She thinks AAA is going to kick her out of the club because she calls them too much about the truck. She also said she had to wait a long time for the tow truck to help her get started again and also at the car shop while they replaced the battery.
When she finally got to the plant sale, almost everything was gone. I think this made Mom very sad that she wasted time eating when she could have been buying plants, especially when she thinks she is fat anyway.
She told Dad she consoled herself by going to the local nursery and buying bags and bags of what she calls “composed manure,” but that smell an awful lot like a farm to me. Eeeewww.
When she unloaded her stuff and started working, it was already well into the afternoon. After a while, Mom looked around and suddenly seemed to think it was Talk Like a Pirate Day because she kept yelling “Aaarrrrrgggghhh!” But then she suddenly sat down in the dirt and put her head in her hands and made little whimpering sounds like my sister Sarah does sometimes. Dad came to help and spent a lot of time shoveling dirt around. This seemed to make Mom a lot happier and she stopped sounding so much like a pirate.
Mom planted lots and lots and lots of things today, including almost all the little baby plants she has been fussing over in the house. She also set up the pretty fountain that makes waterfall noises. But then she ruined everything and gave both me and Sarah a bath, which I did not feel was necessary.
Now I am tired like my Mom. And I smell funny.
–Sophie
Robin
I adore my mom. She does amazing things. She knows EXACTLY when I need a tummy rub, big food or to play chase with my rubber chicken. She loves me more than Sarah (I think). She also manages to be nice when people say things to her that make her eyes cross when no one is looking…
Here are some things that some people have said quite recently to my mom that show just how patient and truly kind she is:
“Your hostas need dividing.” (What Mom Wanted to Say but Didn’t: “No kidding, Sherlock. I also have about 100 seedlings ready to plant, 50 bags of mulch of spread, a bed to dig, weeding to do, the list goes on. In fact, you’re LOOKING at the list right now. See HOSTAS right there at the top? And OH. I HAVE A JOB!!!!” What She Said: “Yes, there’s never enough time, is there?”)
“That flower I gave you is really doing well.” (What Mom Wanted to Say: “Yes, indeedy. That flower you gave me happens, in fact, to be INVASIVE. That’s why there are 300 of those [bleep] things that have taken over half of the bed they’re in. I’ll never get rid of them.” What She Said: “Very well! Do you want some back?”)
“You look tired.” (What Mom Wanted to Say: “Really? I wonder why? I just finished working in the garden–by myself–for 8 hours then vacuumed the house and now I’m making bread to go with our homemade soup for dinner. I didn’t expect to look tired at least until I had cleaned the bathrooms and put up the laundry.” What She Said: “Yep.”)
“I’ll wait until that seedling is a little bigger before I take it home.” (What Mom Wanted to Say: “Oh, I’m happy to keep this little seedling alive until you’re ready for the responsibility of plopping it into the ground and giving it a bit of water. You want me to just give it to you when the tomatoes are ready to harvest?” What She Said: “No problem. I’ll let you know when they’re really mature enough to handle the move.”)
“I’ve been in this kitchen for TWO HOURS!” (What Mom Wanted to Say: “Eee Gad. TWO HOURS? However do you do it? You’re amazing!” What She Wanted to Say: Okay, that’s what she actually said.)You should all be nice to my mom. I’m a little worried that her eyes are going to stay crossed and someone is going to say something about her crossed eyes and she is going to say something back that she really doesn’t want to say about why her eyes are crossed and that she’s trying not to say something that she shouldn’t.
Okay?
Robin
